The album as a whole
Of course compared to when I worked on my 1st album, this one came together bit by bit as I started being able to see different things. It was a bit rough though, because I was still commuting from Osaka at the time. I worked really hard to make this albumーI wanted to be present for everything I possibly could. I had to go back home to Osaka though. I was like a singer with a curfew. (laughs) I’d either take the last train of the night home, or the very first one of the morning the following day. But of course, the joy of creating something is one of those things that grows the more you do it, so even though it was a lot of work to do things one thing at a time, I felt so much joy working on it. Come to think of it, back then there were still times when the atmosphere in the studio would get pretty bad. I’d just sit there and basically eat Milky candies. My 1st albumーy’know, **“Ashita,” “Naki Mushi,” “Hanabi,” “Kabutomushi,” “Sakura”**ーI’d pretty much only worked with them on those. I didn’t really say everything that was on my mind. Like, I should’ve said something but just couldn’t bring myself to do it. What I mean is that they put so much affection into it. They took charge, but with plenty of love. I guess you could I say I butted heads quite a bit with people working on this album. When I say everyone was battling it out, we’re talking about worlds that were only a split hair apart. I wouldn’t budge a single inch. I think now I’d be like, “Ah, so that’s what it is.” But back then, I still wasn’t able to listen to my own songs objectively. I’d listen to a mix but only listen to the vocals. I was only listen to the vocals instead of listening to the overall sound, so when they asked me how it sounded, I often said, “Sorry, I was only listening to my singing. Could I please listen to it again?” This album was also my first #1 on Oricon. I had no idea what to do when it did, though. I had no clue what to do myself because the words “#1” just didn’t exist to me up until that point. That’s why when they asked me what would happen if I ended up doing a concert at Osakajo Hall or something, I’d tell ‘em, “Nope, not gonna happen!” (laughs) I did, though. So yeah, when it hit #1 I had no idea what to do. I should’ve just been happy about it but for some reason it made me really nervous. I guess I felt a lot of pressureーI finally understood just how much my songs were actually making rounds, and it made me a little bit hesitant. I’d never experienced anything like it before, so I had no idea what to do. Looking at the track titles, this whole album’s about pain pain pain. (laughs) There’s no reason behind that at all though. Although I have to say, dying woulda been a pain in the neck, but I was so busy back then I was about ready to just fall over and die any second. It felt like I was just like, dropping things without even giving them a quick once over first. I didn’t have time, I was super busy, and at the time I still wasn’t really the ‘prolific’ time. I was much slower at writing songs than I am nowーit was pretty dire. There were a lot of things I didn’t see because I was so much more reckless then, compared to the way I am now. Although I think that’s a good thing sometimes. There are some songs I only release because I was sprinting with blinders on, you know? Like, “If it feels like love, then it must be love!”
I wrote this song at my house in East Mikuni. I pretty much like, decided from the very beginning that it would be the first song on the album. When Shimayan had finished arranging it, I was like, “Yup, this one’s definitely gonna be the first track.” It changed into more of a rock vibe, and because of that I feel like I was able to sing it entirely differently during recording. This song kinda grew in live housesーor I guess I should say, I’ve always done concerts at live houses, so I’ve constantly had it in my head that they’re a place I can always go back to. That’s why I’ve always loved it when a song sounds like a live band’s just barging on ahead. I think that may be why I was able to bring it up while talking with my staff members a lot more than I did on my 1st album. And, you know, it was just the mode I was in at the time. The more time goes by, the more crucial “Ai no Yamai” is as the first song on the album, I think. Back then it was more of a gut feeling to make it the first song because it was good. Or, y’know, a moment of inspiration I guess you could call it. But making it the first track gives me a lot to look back on. Like, you never really get over ‘love sickness’ no matter how old you get. You fall hard for someone andーfor better or for worseーyour heart suffers. And in spite of that, you want that very same ‘love’ to heal your heart, even though only the person you’re in love with can cure you… That’s what I think ‘love sickness’ is. I bring the tempo up by quite a bit when I sing it at concerts, so whenever I listen to the CD for the first time in a while I always end up thinking, “Oh wow, the tempo’s really this slow?” (laughs)
Hanabi
Official Liner Notes: “Hanabi”
Sakura no Toki
Official Liner Notes: “Sakura no Toki”
Okusuri
So, this song was supposed to be in a commercial. Then the company asked me, “Pardon us, but would you mind changing the title to something besides ‘Medicine’?” (laughs) They said calling it ‘medicine’ wouldn’t be good because it was supposed to be a bottled water commercial, not medicine. I remember the conversation ending after I told them, “Nope, can’t change it.” Time is medicine… It’s about how I’d already broken up with somebody, and being on the train to bring some of their belongings over to his place. There were a few reasons why we broke up. It was both my fault and his fault. Like in Cocoa. You could say I was being punished for doing something like that. I thought I ought to feel guilty about the things weighing on my conscience on my own so in this song, the other person never finds out. It’s “Cocoa”. The song’s about never getting caught but getting what’s due by having them break up with you. But not in a positive sense. I’m the type that always needs to get my revenge, always have been. I always feel like anytime something bad happens to me, I’m just being punished because of something I did. Well, up until recently. Lately I’ve been trying not to think about it too much when something not so great happens. I used to be the kind of person who let bad actions in the past weigh way too much on me. So recently, I’ve been trying little by little not to let it bother me so much. I love the ad-libbing I did in the instrumental break and the second half of the song. The song develops quite a bit as it goes on, and the instrumental break stands on its own nicely. I love how it has a story.
Futari no Katachi
This is a song about a bittersweet love. I’ve got lots of songs about being fine with dying. You get that vibe from every single one of the songs on this album. This is one of the rare few songs that fades in. I think this may be one of the most grown-up songs I wrote at this age. I feel this way about a lot of my songs, but I really feel like I’ve gotta do this song properly. I can just feel my back straightening whenever I listen to this song. Listening to songs like these makes me think, “Wow, I actually became the person I imagined I’d be at 29 when I wrote this song.” Honestly though, this one came together really easily. This is one of those songs that’s really dramatic even when I’m singing it at a concertーthe emotions just flood through me almost instantly, you know? I think that’s why, contrary to what you might think, I really care about whether or not I’m still able to sing this song now. Instead of wondering how the other person feels, ‘all I need is you’ [n the song]. Each of my songs give off their own unique shades, and I’d always like to be true to those colors. But “Futari no Katachi” is one of those incredible songs I hope I’m able to sing forever. I’m propped up by each and every song I’ve done thus far, but this song in particular is a song that’s kept me going in a completely different place. It’s so important to me that I get nervous singing it.
We all recorded this song together. We even included the countdown in it. Love the twang of that slide guitar. We just sat around in a circle and recorded. It was really fun. Apparently when one of my friends was listening to the album by themselves and heard “Waruguchi,” she cried and thought the song might’ve been about her because of what I’m singing about in the song. “You’ve got it all wrong, it’s not you!” I had to tell her. (laughs) You know the kind of people I’m talking about, right? The people who ask how you’ve been lately and only look forward to hear about all the bad stuff that’s happened. You know, the kind of people who say, “Oh man, that’s sounds terrible! And then? And then what happened???” I used to know someone like that. There was this person who would always say I ‘looked exhausted’ any time I ran into them. I was totally fine but they’d go, “You look exhausted, you doin’ okay? You been sleepy? I totally get itーthings must be rough, huh?” I was working hard, having fun and feeling great, and yet anytime they saw my face they’d tell me I had bags under my eyes or something like that. They kept telling me over and over and over again that they ‘totally understand’ that I was ‘having a rough time’. Ugh… Like, could they be any more off the mark? I was SO sick of them saying I looked ‘rough’ every single time I was trying to hang out and have fun. ‘Cause I didn’t! “You’re not really being friendly, are ya?” I thought to myself while I wrote this song. I think we did 3 or 4 takes. We’d start by saying something like, “You guys ready?” Then we’d end it by saying, “OK, done?” (laughs) I think that vibe really comes through in the song.
