How long has it been since then? Still muffled when I speak, that hasn’t changed The mirror reflects the ideal self it separates me from I placed my awkward fingertips on it again today
Alone, ostracized by what others say What can you do. It’s not what I craved Red, it clings to me. Behind the jeers lies a dialogue ”My flaws are extraordinary?” Then it’s been a sham from the start
In exchange for what I want to make happen I’ve been destroying things I treasure And now I can’t breathe from all the regret Discarding my emotions to make it easier Not knowing how to heal my wounds when I fall Or how it feels to regret the mistakes I’ve left behind Is that the way I’ll grow up?
In a dimly-lit vivarium I had dreams of myself almost endlessly Felt like the shaky light in the distance was calling me
Next thing I knew, I turned and found myself here, alone A mirage getting lost in a messy room Why are the tears, the frustration, starting to brim over My fingertips, cut to the quick, are stained red again
“I hear it in my head.” “Me, and a voice that’s not mine” ”Over and over, time after time It rejects being born at all” ”Why can’t I do anything?” ”Why don’t I know anything?” ”No idea” ”No idea” ”I have absolutely no idea” ”I don’t know one thing that’s right”
“Guess I’m all grown up now”
“You didn’t believe in anything” ”No one could, really” ”The one thing you needed, more than fame” ”Was for someone to say it’d all be okay”
“Sorry you no longer have a place to belong” ”Now you don’t need to leave anymore”
“Deep in the shaky capital I heard a mechanical girl singing in the light” ”I’d love to go there too”
In a dimly-lit vivarium Having dreams of myself almost endlessly Just close enough to touch—don’t leave, don’t change on me
Here in this vivarium However lost I get, cling to it, lose sight of it The light I made quiver with my eyes is the future I once pictured in my mind So long. I still need To sing
You won’t be alone all night Here you sit, still in the closet Crying
are kara dore kurai tatta koto darou kugumotta monoii wa aimokawarazu de kagami ga utsusu wa hedateru risou-zou bukiyou na yubisaki ni kyou mo te wo kaketa
dareka no kotoba de hitori, tsumahajiki shouganai ne nozomareta koto nante nai shi kobiri-tsuku aka-iro basei no ura de mondou ”kekken wa tokubetsu?” nara, hajime kara magaimono
kanaetai mono to wa hikikae ni taisetsu na mono wo kowashite kite koukai bakari de iki ga dekinai kara kanjou wo sutete raku ni natte koronda ato no kizu no naoshi-kata mo nokoshita ayamachi no kui mo shiranai mama otona ni naru no?
honogurai hakoniwa de tomedonaku watashi ga watashi no yume wo mite ita tooku de yureta hikari wa watashi wo yobu ki ga shita
kidzukeba furimuku to koko ni, hitori chirakatta heya no naka mayoikomu shinkirou doushite afuredasu namida to shousou fukazume no yubisaki mata akaku somatta
“atama no naka de kikoeru” “watashi to watashi denai koe ga” ”kurikaeshi kurikaeshi umarete kita koto wo hitei suru” ”doushite nanimo dekinai no” ”doushite nanimo shiranai no” ”wakaranai” ”wakaranai” ”watashi ni wa wakaranai” ”tadashii koto hitotsu mo shiranai mama”
“otona ni natte shimatta mitai da”
“kimi wa nanimo shinjinakatta” ”daremo shinjirarenakatta” ”kimi ni hitsuyou datta no wa meisei yori mo saki ni” ”daijoubu no hitokoto datta ne”
“ibasho wo nakushichatte gomen ne” ”dakara mou dete konakutatte ii sa”
“yureru no miyako no oku sono hikari no naka de kikai shoujo no uta ga kikoeta” ”watashi mo, soko ni ikitai”
honogurai hakoniwa de tomedonaku watashi ga watashi no yume wo mite ite furerareru kyori no mama hanarenaide kawaranaide
kono hakoniwa de dore dake mayotte, sutatte, mienaku nattemo kono me de yureta hikari wa ano hi egaku mirai da sayonara mada watashi wa utawanakucha
yoru ga akeru made hitori janai kara kuro-zetto no kimi wa mada naite’ru
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